Roller Coaster

Lately I've felt like my life and emotions have been on a roller coaster with a lot more lows than highs. It's time for that to change. I know there is still lots of work to do to get through this but I'm convinced that life must go on. I will be happier and more successful than the people that attempted to ruin my life and family. That will be my revenge and it's time to get busy.

I've been trying to get back on track and resume some sense of normalcy. Life doesn't stop when tragic events unfold. I stopped for a while but life didn't. I still had to get the kids off to school in the morning, feed the animals, make dinner, clean house and go to work. While I've been pretty successful maintaining my normal activities and picking up many of the my husband's responsibilities, several things still weren't getting done. I admit that they probably weren't getting done before he left but now it bothers me even more.

The lawn, for one, is/was a huge mess and no easy task to fix. I have a few acres here and it's not flat so it's difficult to take care of it. The gardens were overgrown and the backyard had gone back to nature (not bad in theory, but really bad in reality thanks to blackberry bushes). I'd managed to tackle some of the front yard and keep it up alright, but the weed eating and backyard, I never have been able to find time for. Then I had an epiphany. Why not pay someone (my dad) to do the job. I offered and he accepted. What a relief. I came home today to a wonderfully improved yard minus most of the blackberries. Thanks Dad.

I've realized that the stress of trying to find time to do some tasks isn't worth it. Sometimes it's better to pay someone to handle things to allow you to spend your valuable time on what really matters to you. There are times when the path to simplicity leads us to to ask for help. If there's a task that you repeatedly try to find time to accomplish, but never do. Maybe you should consider asking for help to get the job done. You'll still feel a sense of accomplishment that the task is done but you'll also feel a sense of relief that the problem is handled and you can move on to bigger and better things.

Crossroads

I'm at a crossroads in my life and what I had planned isn't going to play out the way I'd hoped. I have to figure out what direction I'll follow. My commander says he wants to meet with me next week to discuss future assignments and my career path. Well, I thought I knew what I wanted. To just stay put for another three years then retire to the country, but lately I've been feeling that maybe I should take another assignment and continue the adventure. I don't know. I risk so much by continuing on and it'd also delay the dream of settling down and finding a home. I could go anywhere in the world now. Why should I want to settle for Alabama or the south for that matter. I crave beautiful places, I crave simplicity, but I want adventure as well. So I have decisions to make.

What simplicity means to me
An end to rushing out the door each morning to fight traffic for an hour then barely make it to work on time. Only to be stressed even further by deadlines, meetings, work and chaos.
Being able to see my kids off to school and greet them when they come home.
Having time to enjoy my writing instead of rushing to get projects done.
Lingering over my plants and gardens.
Enjoying the quiet and piece of nature.
Spending my time doing what I like and what comes naturally.
Enjoying time with my kids before they head off to college and start their own lives.
Enjoying my pets.
Enjoying adventures as they come.
Enjoying fewer demands and more quality from life.

Getting Rid of Stuff

On the way to simplicity! I got rid of a ton of junk this weekend. The kids have been helping out a lot more lately and we were able to eliminate so much stuff that we hadn't used for years. My oldest daughter, Amber, cleaned out of the basement for me. Which was a huge undertaking since it was a real mess. Aimee and Kodi pitched in and also got rid of their old things. We also took advantage of the shed and moved my husbands stuff into it until he can pick it up. The house is looking a lot less cluttered but I know we still have a long way to go. Little by little we'll get there.

On a different note. I've been doing hand to hand combat training at work all week. It's been really good for me emotionally but physically, I can barely move. It's still very fun though, even with all of the bruises, scrapes and black eye. Three more days to go. Wish me luck.

Simpler or More Complicated?

Some pretty traumatic events have happened in my life over the last couple of weeks that will have a huge impact on my future. My family has been reduced from 5 members to 4. My husband has decided that he'd rather be with my sister in-law (my brothers wife) and they have run off to Florida together.

Of course, I was devastated and really upset by this discovery (we've been married for 20 years and together for 25) but I'm beginning to realize that the man I loved never existed. It's crazy that you can be married to a person for so long and not even know who they really are. I've discovered so many scandalous activities that I knew nothing about that I've begun to realize that I really will be better off without him. The kids and I will move on and grow stronger because of this experience together.

As for our goals of a simple life? Well, that part is pretty scary right now as my soon to be ex is threatening to take half of all of my assets including my military pension. I was counting on that pension to live that simple life. I can only hope that the judge takes into consideration the hell he's put me through over these years and doesn't make me pay for it the rest of my life. I'm at the point where I may opt to quit now and give up my pension to prevent him from using me anymore.

So I ask you, has my life gotten simpler or more complicated? I say simpler because there are less of us. I also don't have to work around what he wanted. However, it's also more complicated because my emotions are in turmoil and I don't have a mate to help me anymore. Because of him, I may also not have the resources I need to make the dream happen. It's really tough to handle the situation and the chaotic emotions that come with it. I wouldn't wish these feelings on my worst enemy but I know in the end I will adapt and overcome this and figure it out because that's what I do and who I am.

Alabama Surprise

The kids and I went to Nashville a couple of weekends ago for a video game competition. We had a great time. Nashville is a very nice city. The competition was great and my son did well. We also used the trip as a mini scouting session for potential future relocation. The kids seamed to really like Nashville but we also wanted to check out middle Tennessee area, near Arnold AFB. We drove down highway 24 and found the base but there really wasn't much going on there. Although the area was kind of pretty it was very remote feeling and turned out to be a disappointment. The towns around the area, Manchester, seemed to a bit run down and depressed.

On the way home we drove from Chattanooga to Birmingham on highway 59. It's really a long stretch of nothing but by the time we got to Fort Payne I'd decided to get a hotel. The stay over revealed a jewel of a small town with a surprisingly beautiful landscape. I had no idea that Alabama had such beautiful terrain. The next morning the kids and I drove to Little River Canyon, just a few miles outside of town. It was absolutely stunning. We walked down to the canyon. It looked more like something you'd find out west. We walked along the top of the waterfall and had ourselves a great time. On the way back into town we decided to check out Desoto Falls. I'd seen it in pictures so I thought it was no big deal and when we first arrived at the falls we didn't immediately see it so I didn't expect much. Let me tell you, the pictures of Desoto Falls do not do it justice. These falls are at least a hundred feet high and spectacular, especially for Alabama. We also got the added benefit of watching people repelling into to water next to the waterfall. It looked like so much fun! Fort Payne and northeast Alabama was a really pleasant surprise. The best part was that the whole thing was totally FREE! I think we'll go back again to check it out for possible homestead locations.

The following images are from flicker.com.

Homestead Checklist

Okay, we're looking for our forever home and that's interesting and very difficult for us. I've been in the military most of my adult life and of course that's required lots of moves. In addition to that I had a very mobile life growing up so I don't really know what its like to live in one place for a longer than a few years. I'm also not sure that we won't get that itch to move again after a few years. With that said, I thought it might be best to make a list of what we'll require for our homestead so that we can figure out where to live after I retire.
1. Low taxes -- no income tax! TN, WA, AK, South or overseas? Really thinking about TN since it's close by.
2. Near a military base -- so we can use the facilities
3. Reasonable weather -- not too hot or cold - 4 seasons
5. Great area for growing -- for our sustainable gardens
6. At least 10 acreas -- so we can grow food and live peacefully
7. Inexpensive land -- we have limited funds and want to live debt free
8. A creek or stream -- so we can have a swimming hole and water our crops
9. Interesting scenery -- beutiful place
10. Nice people -- open to new ideas
11. Lots of outdoor activities -- free fun
12. Medical facilities are important
13. Private but not too far from civilization -- 15 - 20 minutes
14. Alternative energy but access to the grid and internet services
15. Need 4 bedrooms and an office but more than likely will build an alternative home

We need to find a place that meets our requirements some time in the next year or two so that we can go ahead and purchase the land, begin building and living our dream. Wish us luck.

Life Path Journal

This is my book about shaping the life you want. It's a tool to help you develop your ideas about changes you'd like to make and allows you to set forth a plan to implement those changes. I wrote it for myself because I knew that I wanted to make some changes in my life. I needed an action plan to help me keep track of what I wanted and where I wanted to go. If you feel like you need to make some changes in your life, maybe it can help you as well.

Seeking Simplicity

For a long time I've wanted to live a much simpler life, but lately I've felt like life is controlling me instead of me taking control of my life. It's time for a change. My husband and I believe in living a simple life that's in touch with nature. If you've read my BIO, then you know that I'm currently in the military and will be retiring in the next few years. My husband is a stay at home dad and I do NOT want to work for anyone else once I retire. So, we'll have to down scale our life considerably to stretch our money. This is only part of the reason why we are adopting a simple life. We've also come to understand that much of the stuff we collect over our lives is really just an attempt to fill an emptiness within us. That stuff then eats up our time, resources and energy requiring us to manage, clean, maintain and care for it. Finally, my time and freedom is very important to me. I'm very confident that I could find well paying employment for my second career but money is less important than the opportunity to live life on my own terms. This blog is about our journey to simplicity. Please feel free to stop by and visit as often as you like.